Being in ministry teaches us a lot of different lessons. We learn how to wear so many different hats and have to be able to switch gears at a moments notice. Over most other professions, we are taught to be self-starters, resourceful, and we develop a Swiss Army Knife approach to our daily work and weekly expectations. We have to learn sound & video editing, stage setting, how to create environments, and other creative exercises, not including public communications, speaking and presentations. We often have to handle physical work around the building, learning electrical & plumbing work, janitorial skills, how to patch and repair a multitude of materials and even how to sort & are contractors to handle bigger tasks. We learn how to organize and activate small groups and large crowds, we can organize events for whole communities and incorporate outside agencies, resources and companies. We can counsel people dealing with loss, help struggling couples navigate the difficulties of married life, and bring people together to celebrate the hidden wins of life. As you know, if you’re in ministry, I could go on and on and on….because we’re mostly good at that, too.
But for the love of Mike, we are terrible at a few things.
Number one at the top of my list is this: Asking for help.
Am I right, or am I right? Right? How many of us have spent Saturday mornings slogging away at some project that we should have opened up and invited others to join in on, if not hand it over to them? How many times have we stressed ourselves out, set unreasonable personal demands, neglected our family or friendships, rationalized away our own personal soul-care time, and done other varieties of damage to our lives? It’s a lot, right? We probably already have multiple, easy-to-remember instances that pop-up where we over burdened ourselves and it could have been easily solved by simply asking other people to join in, or empowered them to handle it without us.
How often is it pride? How often is it some control issue where “I know how to do it the way it needs to be done” stands in the way of people growing inter service, while stifling our own. Should we feel guilty about this? Yes, of course we should. We are robbing people of their service to God and we are hurting our families and relationships in favor of looking like we can handle everything. And why? Because we don’t ask.
Why don’t we ask? Is it pride? “They hired me to do this, I can’t tell anyone that I don’t know how to do this.” Are we scared of looking ‘incomplete’ or ‘inadequate?’ Why don’t we ask for advice, get someone’s opinion, or look for people who might at least be of help?
What would the kingdom look like, where you are, if you asked for help every time you needed it? What would your relationship with your congregation be like if they knew they were valuable to you, not just for service, but for the relationship that comes from serving together? What would your church family be like, in relationship to one another and for your community, if they lived the example of begin open, asking for help, and being ready to receive it from anyone and everyone? Not that we are seeking to be served, not at all, but that we would be willing to be vulnerable in admitting to our limitations. What if asking for assistance meant people saw we were human, moved us beyond different social barriers that Christians tend to set up for themselves, and started a cooperative movement within our communities, and an attitude of looking out for one another? We normally talk about this from an aspect of being the ones who serve, but there is also the empowerment of raising people up to serve by inviting them to do so alongside of you.
The mindset shift for us comes when we stop looking at our church family members as somehow below us, or like they are a group to be commanded, and when we see ourselves as equals. That removes pressure from us and obligation from them. When we live and act as a true team, then this attitude of shared effort becomes very, very real. This is community. We recognize the skills and talents that Gd has developed in others, we see the potential were He has begun gifting some, and we find opportunities to disciple them into their next steps of faith and Christlikeness. We do this by including them, not just by commanding them. We stand side by side with them, not over them, and we ask them to join us as we join with Christ.
Dare to be humble. Dare to show your need for those God has placed around you.
Dare to ask.